“I wonder if I’ve been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I’m not the same, the next question is ‘Who in the world am I?’ Ah, that’s the great puzzle!”
A few days ago, I found myself in the pasar ramadhan in SS18 Subang Jaya. I read about it at one of the food blogs which I follow regularly and you knowla, once you’re hungry, pics of food tend to stick in your head until you fill your stomach to the brim….(I can’t find the exact link now, damn…, was it at masak-masak?)
So there I was, walking along the street with food stalls on either side of the road. Viran’s no longer there. Instead, it’s replaced by some other grocery store. Ravi has gone on to greater things. He struck it big with Canai N Such chain back in the 90’s. The boom years. I wonder what happened to him?
The air was smoky (from the ayam percik and murtabak being cooked), but underneath that charcoal smell lay a familiar scent. A scent of familiarity. Immediately, I realized what smell it was. It was the smell of this place. I used to know this place so well. It brought back a rush of old memories.
Back then, this was just another road, the pasar ramadhan wasnt even held here, it was in ss19 I think, but still I know this stretch of road like the back of my hand. Many things have changed, the new basketball court and cage, there used to be a phone booth too, but it’s the age of the mobile phone now. With more than 100% penetration rate and counting, who uses the public phone?
Nevertheless, everything still looked the same to me. No, correction. It felt the same. Funny huh? I used to know every inch of that place. Every rock, every tree, every damn pothole… Some things in Malaysia never change..haha..
In a way, I still feel I do know the place, despite not really being there for a good 18 years…
I walked along this very road to school everyday and for club activities on weekends. This same road took me to Pn Rofizah’s house for tuition and Uztaz Amin’s rented home for mengaji. I passed by this same road as well whenever I snuck off to the nearby field for a game of football, in complete defiance to my mom who grounded me for getting a red mark in my homework! The ensuing ruckus that took place when she found out wasn’t pretty..haha…
But knowing what I did, would I do it again? Without a shadow of a doubt..:)
Those were the days….
Things were a lot more simpler. People were a lot more honest. I was a lot more fucking honest, really. You don’t have to worry about bills, career, or telling people what you think they want to hear, meeting other people’s expectations, fulfilling their dreams, meeting targets, and outperforming benchmarks…etc..
What about my own dreams? Well, that’s the one thing no one ever told me. You spend your whole life being what everyone else wants you to be, doing everything everyone else wants you to do, and you forget about those tiny dreams of yours. Do you realize how everyone wants you to behave exactly how they expect you to behave? I wonder if I am the same as well? I wonder if everyone goes through this phase?
No, I wont go as far as to call it regret. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a great life so far. I’ve been lucky compared to most. Unseized opportunities, perhaps? Perhaps.
I left the place without buying a single thing. Despite not having anything to eat for a good 12 hours, I was no longer hungry. In fact, I felt happy. Happy being reminded how happy I was back then.
Posted by maxthecat80 
